Ultimate Communicator

7 Essential Keys to Positive, Productive Proactiveness

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“You can either take action, or you can hang back and hope for a miracle. Miracles are great, but they are so unpredictable.”

Peter F. Drucker

Are you tired of rushing to finish minutes before a deadline?

Do you ever feel frustrated or stressed when you haven’t completed everything?

Have you ever delayed starting a task because you thought it was too hard or would take too long?

Recent research has found that 75 percent of college students procrastinate and chronic procrastination affects 25 percent of adults. Over 95 percent of people consider procrastination to be a problem. They would like to change unresourceful ways due to the negative impact on their performance, wellbeing, relationships and life style.

Three main reasons why people procrastinate

Piers Steel, business professor at the University of Calgary in Canada, explains there are three main reasons why people procrastinate:

Anxiety related fears:– These can include a fear of failing, not being good enough, feeling judged, or being rejected. Sometimes we’re fearful about how to begin and afraid of getting it wrong

Rebellion:– If we feel unappreciated, unsupported or a task has been externally imposed on us, this can create a feeling of “you can’t make me do this”.

Reward:– It’s proven that we won’t engage in behaviour unless we receive a reward from it. This means we look for a payoff when we procrastinate. An example of this is doing activities that give us pleasure or pursuing goals that we feel we’re likely to attain. We’re more likely to put off tasks that aren’t as much fun or take longer to achieve.

Can you relate to times when you’ve procrastinated?

Which one do you most relate to? Feeling fear, unsupported or disengaged?

You may be wondering how this relates to communication and public speaking?

For many leaders, professionals and business owners, even the thought of having to speak in front of a group, can cause them to procrastinate and avoid public speaking at almost any cost. It takes commitment, courage and consistency to face those very real fears and move through any obstacles holding you back.

Once you turn procrastination into action, you can develop the ability to speak confidently and passionately without the fear, nerves or anxiety.

Roger Hamilton, Social Philanthropist and author of Your Life Your Legacy, explains that taking action and applying what we have learned as soon as we can, supports our fulfillment and growth. Not taking action can lead to feeling frustrated and frazzled.

7 Keys to overcoming procrastination so that you commit, create and complete!

Prepare: Have you ever noticed when you’re feeling centred and aligned, how your day flowed more easily? De-cluttering your desk, meditating, setting your intention for the day and surrounding yourself with items that feel good, such as, crystals, beautiful flowers and music are all positive ways you create this.

Prioritise: Being clear on your outcomes and creating a list of priorities maintains balance and focus. As you create your list, ask yourself “Is this taking me towards my goals or taking me away from them?”

Practice self-care: It’s proven that when we nourish our minds and bodies with nutritious food, exercise and fun every day, we are more productive, creative and fulfilled. You may like to set an alarm so that you work for 55 minutes and then take a 3-5 minute break so that you remain fresh.

Productivity: Check your progress regularly throughout the day to ensure you’re on track. You may need to adjust the time you have allowed for tasks or reschedule some items for the next day.

Proactive commitment: Commit to yourself and stay focused. Be clear with those around you that you will be incognito for a designated amount of time unless there is an absolute emergency.

Personal Support: Engage and surround yourself with people who inspire, support and are of a similar mindset. Adopt an approach of asking your support team to handle tasks that you’re happy to delegate. This will free you to concentrate and empower those around you by demonstrating your trust in their ability

Presents!: How do you reward yourself? By scheduling time to do the things you love, you’ll feel more inspired to complete your tasks. After all, you deserve this!

The key to your success is ACTION!

Here’s to taking the steps to Speak from Your Heart and Share Your Message!s

Ultimate Communicator

Communication Skills to Speak Naturally, Authentically and Lead Effectively

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“Communication has power, but like any powerful tool it needs to be used effectively or it can cause self-inflicted harm. Harnessing the power of communication is a fundamental leadership discipline.

”Helio Fred Garcia, President of the crisis management firm Logos Consulting Group and adjunct Professor of Management at New York University’s Stern School of Business.

One of the reasons why some leaders aren’t consciously aware that their communication and speaking skills could improve is because they think they’re already good at it. When you consider, we’ve been communicating from the time we were born, this makes sense. However, if frustration, fear and challenges are showing up and we are not getting the results we desire, it can be because our communication skills need improving.

“The communicator never begins by telling the other part what he or she wants. Rather, he or she always begins by focusing on ways to trigger the desired reaction.

”Helio Fred Garcia, Author of “The Power of Communication”

Do you recall times when you’ve felt misunderstood or someone has been totally unaware of their lack of communication competency?

Can you remember times when your fears prevented you communicating and speaking naturally, authentically and effectively?

If you can relate to this, read on to hear what happened for Gemma…

“Wait!… You don’t need to speak to the Manager. I can get you better discounts.”, cried Kathy, frantically wanting to keep Gemma on the phone.

Was that desperation?

A three-minute phone call with the intention of finalizing Gemma’s insurance quote, was turning out to be a ten-minute obstacle course to get to talk with Sales Manager, Susan.

Gemma was exasperated:“What a contrast from speaking with Susan yesterday. She understood what I needed. We clicked!”

Susan’s expertise and her ability to communicate authentically and confidently had reassured Gemma. Stress business woman

“Talk to me! I can get you a better deal!” shattered Gemma’s reflection.

Kathy’s anxious tone cut to something deeper.

Feelings of annoyance and frustration rose within Gemma. Self-doubt ran through her head as she struggled to find an appropriate level of response. She wanted to clearly communicate her position.

Stopping time Just when she needed it most, Gemma froze and her voice vanished. Her mind raced; her mouth went dry; her throat tightened and the terrifying old memories returned…

What if I get tongue tied

People don’t listen to me

People don’t find me convincing

I never have anything interesting to say

I’m going to look foolish if I speak up now

I’m obviously not clearly articulating what I mean

Why won’t people listen to me? I haven’t got anything interesting to say.

Her signature cell phone rang;“I can see clearly now the rain is gone. I can see all obstacles in my way…”

“Mmmmm…I have a choice. I can continue to doubt myself and get angry or I can take command. I could choose to speak from my heart and clearly articulate what I want to say.” clock or compass – time to decide clock

Can you relate to Gemma and her situation?

What have you done in those circumstances?

Whether your intention for communication and speaking is for professional or personal reasons, there are three top fears that can stop you from effectively leading, speaking from your heart and sharing your message.

They are:

Fear of not belonging: This could be when you hear yourself saying things, such as, “I don’t feel I belong here” or “I don’t think I blend in”

Fear of not being loved: This could be your fear of being judged, looking foolish or being constantly concerned with what others may be thinking

Fear of not being good enough: This is when you say to yourself “I can’t do that”, “I could never speak up like that” or “that’s too hard”

Dr Dan Baker, Medical Psychologist explains “we all have a neurological fear system embedded deep in our brains. A neural network that once helped us survive as a species but now limits our lives. This fear system is our repository for past trauma, current tribulation, fear of the future and archaic instinctual terrors”

Fear can be an inevitable part of our communication and speaking. Courage and confidence are achieved, not with the absence of fear, but with the willingness to take action in spite of feeling fear.

What stops you taking command and speaking authentically so that you can share what you want to say in your own speaking style?

Here are three essential steps to move from fearful to fabulous:

which you can do anywhere, anytime, with anyone. Once you integrate these steps you’re well on you way to discovering the effective leader in you:

Recognize: Give yourself time to gather yourself. It’s normal to feel stressed into thinking you need to say something straight away. As you observe any feelings, allow yourself to pause and reflect

Re-energize: Breathe deeply so that you take in essential oxygen. When you do this, blood flows to the front of your brain so that you’ll find the best words to share

Reconnect: As you breathe, slow down your pace of speaking and lower your tone. Remember you’re in command. You’re now ready to speak from your heart and share your message

Confidence. Business Background. Gemma collected her thoughts. Once she breathed deeply she engaged with what she most wanted to say:

“Thanks Kathy. Put me through to Susan, please.”

The firm yet gentle authority in Gemma’s tone was new. It got her the intended result and meant so much more.

May you speak naturally, authentically and lead effectively as you share your message!

Ultimate Communicator

Fundamentals to Prepare for Your Next Speaking Opportunity

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The human brain starts working the moment you are born and never stops until you stand up to speak in public.

”George Jessel (American actor, known in his lifetime as “Toastmaster General of the United States”)

Can you relate to feeling nervous when you know it’s your turn to speak?

Do you ever feel you could share your message more effectively?

Have you noticed how great speakers make it look so easy and effortless?

Even top speakers have experienced fears when they started out and I’ve been there….I KNOW WHAT IT’S LIKE!

We know public speaking isn’t effortless and through working with clients, I’ve discovered the main reason for these fears is because you’re driving in the wrong gear. It’s like driving 110kph on the highway in second gear!

Knowing that you need to speak publicly can be one of the most nerve wrenching experiences you can have. You may have incredible knowledge and an amazing business; however, if you continue driving in the incorrect gear, it will always feel demanding and stressful.

The key to changing this is, learning how to shift gears.

It’s important to remember, whether you’re doing your first presentation or speaking professionally, a level of fear is almost always present.

Steve Siegold, the Mental Toughness Coach, explains that when we put ourselves under too much stress our performance goes down. He calls it a “performance break down” because when we get stressed, our IQ drops! However, when someone learns how to manage their emotions, they no longer perceive things as a threat.

When we’re stressed, part of our brain, called the Amygdala, triggers an emotional response to the thing with which we feel threatened. A flight or fight reaction occurs and this physically impacts our body with uncomfortable sensations, such as, dry mouth, pounding heart, trembling and a fear of forgetting our words.

If your public speaking fears are stopping you sign clients or you’re afraid to speak at network events, I wonder, how many opportunities you’re missing?

Are you curious to know how you can change gears so that you manage your emotions whenever you need to speak?

3-Steps for your next speaking opportunity:

Visualise: Hold a positive, clear picture of the outcome for your presentation. Remember to include all your favourite colours, sounds, feelings, positive thoughts and language. Now think of a role model you look up to or aspire to become. Reflect on their qualities, such as, tone, how they hold themselves and how they speak.

Practice: Know your subject and content well and remember to breathe deeply. Research shows your fears are reduced by 75% when you feel prepared and confident.

Circle of Influence: Focus on the things that are within your power and not on the things that aren’t. For example, you can manage how you feel and what you tell yourself. However, you can’t manage how your audience will respond.

Here’s to your success as you change gears and share your message!

Ultimate Communicator

Public speaking. How in flow are you?

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2017 has come to a close. It is a great time to review some essentials to help improve your flow, pause, presence and public speaking success for 2018! As you read, I encourage you to consider your current public speaking skills and what you could do differently this year.

Recently I was watching a well-known speaker, with whom I have the greatest respect. I noticed something was missing as she delivered her content. She seemed uncomfortable within herself. Her experience is amazing and her message had the potential to really engage. However, her words felt disconnected and she didn’t seem there for her audience. Later, when I thought about this, I realized there were two essential elements missing that would have helped us feel a real connection.

Without Pause, there is no space for us, as the listeners, to take on the depth of what someone is sharing. If she had given space for pause in her presentation, we would have had time to relate the information to our own lives.

Introducing the Power of Pause and Presence

Without Pause, there is no space for us, as the listeners, to take on the depth of what someone is sharing. If she had given space for pause in her presentation, we would have had time to relate the information to our own lives.

“A pause allows your listeners to stay engaged and enables them to follow what comes next.” – Patricia Fripp, Award-winning Professional Keynote Speaker

Without Presence, there is less room for our listeners, to believe, be transported and moved by what someone is saying.

As speakers and communicators, when we are present, confident, passionate and totally immersed in delivering our message, everything flows from our physiology to our words.

As her listeners, we didn’t mind that she appeared anxious as long as we could have felt her belief and been able to experience her message as if it was being shared for the first time.

Amy Cuddy, Professor at Harvard and Social Psychologist, defines Presence as “being attuned to and able to express your full potential, whether in an important presentation or a conversation with your boss.”

The power of the Pause and Presence also allows the speaker to connect with their own content on a deep emotive level. As speakers, we need to have this depth of connection so that our listeners feel the authenticity. The consequence of not doing this is, we can sound rehearsed and disconnected.

How can you remember to Pause?

If you find yourself tempted to fill the space with ums and ahs – STOP. Consider where you would put a full stop, comma, exclamation mark or emphasize words. This becomes your reminder to breathe and pause.

How can you become more Present?

Mihaly Csikszentmihalyi wrote in his book; Flow, the Psychology of Optimal Experience, “when we’re in state of flow, we generally experience a deep enjoyment and totally lose ourselves in what we’re doing.” One way we can achieve flow and presence is to prepare ourselves physically as well as mentally.http://ultimatespeaker.com.au/

Have you heard of the Success Principle, “Your Physiology Creates Your Psychology”?

Amy Cuddy’s research discovered “power posing”. Here’s an example. When you stand with a confident posture, even if you don’t feel it, you can increase your feeling of confidence.

If you find yourself feeling anxious, give yourself a nudge, change your posture and reframe your thoughts into something positive. Ask yourself “How can I be there for my audience?”http://ultimatespeaker.com.au/

Here’s to flowing into 2018 with even more flow, pause and presence as you share your message!